Heather has a nice post congratulating me over at her blog. I said in the comments that my deep dark secret is- I’m exhausted.
Considering the burnout I’m feeling right now from just one class (albeit a fairly intensive class) and full time work, I’m starting to get worried about my plan to take three classes in the fall and spring next year.
So I’m thinking some things will have to change, if I don’t change my school goal (which is entirely possible, but I really, really want to graduate by 2009.)
I have been having a blast participating as much as I could this year, both online and off. I presented, went to my first ALA conference, made a whole lot of contacts, and learned a lot about what it means to be a librarian on the profession side (I still have a lot to learn about the actual JOB of being a librarian.) Next year, I’m going to try not to over commit myself, which means, probably, not seeking anything else out. I’m already running for two positions in the NLA next year, and I’ve volunteered to help with booth design for the Nebraska Library Association New Members Round Table.
Other things that need to change lie in my personal life: I need to get more choosy about personal engagements, and not feel guilty for taking a day for myself. I need to structure my own time more carefully, and not lose as much in the time sink that is the internet.
Mark Linder had a nice post recently about his need to find balance – “I truly need to discover what balance is for me in my life. Then I need to pursue it.” he adds later that “I could be wrong, but the last real vacation I remember having was in 1984 or 1985.” Now, that’s just wrong. Of course, that’s par for the course for Americans – a recent Lifehacker post asked about reader’s vacation habits, and a week of vacation is about all most people get and/or take. (Compared to European posters, who get 5-8 weeks. erg.) (I had a lot more here, but it was ranty and doesn’t necessarily belong here. I’ll just say that lots of people I know don’t get near enough vacation/sick time.)
I have been scheming to take a vacation – a real vacation – after I graduate. If the past is any indication, though, I will dive right into another full time job, or I’ll be moving. sigh. It’s not work – I only get 12 days right now, but I’m fairly sure that if I needed it I could get unpaid time off. I just have a hard time taking time for myself.
Part of my problem is that my husband has been supporting me lo these many years I’ve been in school – not completely, but he pays the majority of the bills, without ever complaining or giving me a hard time. After graduation, it’s his turn. I want to get a job where I make enough that he can explore any dreams/careers he wants. (If, that is, he ever decides what it is he wants.)
At the very least, after graduation, I’ll be down to “just” a full time job. Which, right now, seems like vacation enough to me.
Karin, I wonder how much being a student accounts for some of this trend to overextend ourselves? In my case, it certainly does not fully explain it. But….
I am well aware that as a student I have explicitly given myself permission to sample here and there as i try to both broaden my interests via exposure and narrow those interests into what I want to “really” do as a professionally. And, yes, some things need to be tried to be ruled out.
In many ways, though, this is a recipe for stress and even burnout. By just joining some organization, especially if it is a national organization, it is next to impossible to discover what they are really about. So we try to join a committee and/or give a presentation and …. This is a big help in deciding if this organization is right for us, but it is an unsustainable model for several reasons.
While I certainly do not get involved in everything, and I much prefer to be involved on a more local scale, I still get involved in many things across many areas of our field.
I have the feeling that you and I are just the kind that want to taste so much in life that we end up overextending ourselves. But perhaps the added “permission” we give ourselves as students contributes to this problem? I have few answers lately.
Here’s to a small vacation for each of us! (Attitude and a minor re-definition of “vacation” may be our only salvation for the moment.)
Best.
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