It’s been really interesting reading everyone’s reactions to the summertime grad student blues. Mark’s reply to my post made a lot of sense- “I wonder how much being a student accounts for some of this trend to overextend ourselves?” … “I have the feeling that you and I are just the kind that want to taste so much in life that we end up overextending ourselves. But perhaps the added “permission†we give ourselves as students contributes to this problem?”
I think I’ve talked before on this blog (though I am too lazy to look it up right now) about the fact that I feel like I found my career a little later in live than I would have liked. As a response, I’ve thrown myself head on into the profession. Being a student is certainly helpful- I get opportunities to meet people, I get to learn about new concepts and then take action on them (hopefully), and, perhaps most importantly, being a student means constantly being bombarded with the best, most hopeful view of the profession. My fellow students are, for the most part, excited about librarianship. This isn’t just a career for them, it’s a calling. My teachers are the same way. It’s hard not to be wrapped up int he excitement.
Kirsten posted about Sustaining Academic Momentum over on her blog, and linked to a list of Essentials for Tapping One’s Full Potential as a Masters and/or Doctoral Student on her college’s web site. I found this list interesting, and surprisingly good. Kristin is right that there’s only so much you can realize before you have started school- you have to get in it to really understand what they mean by “Don’t isolate yourself” and “Seek advice, listen and learn from others.” (I found “Understand and follow the rules and regulations” to be funny, in a rolling my eyes kind of way.) Kristin ends her post with “Maybe, by the end of summer, I can re-convince myself that this is fun.”
I’m actually really enjoying my class right now. I think I’ll enjoy the majority of my fall classes too. I’ve been incredibly lucky so far- my stress levels have not come from doing stupid, inane, or boring work (usually) but simply from the fact that I usually have too little time in the day. Couple that with my bad time management skills, and you have a recipe for disaster. There’s always a nagging thought in the back of my hear that if I could just concentrate more, if I could just focus, if I could just manage my time better, it wouldn’t be stressful. I think, if I did everything right, I could get everything done with lots of time to spare. I could improve my time management skills (losing a couple of hours in the evening to aimless web surfing is common), but it’s not going to fix all of my stress.
The truth is, I don’t think I could function without some level of stress. I need it to motivate me. I have found that, for myself, structured procrastination* works best – if I have 1 thing to do, I’ll just put of doing that one thing. If I have 30 things to do, I’ll put off one thing by doing another.
What I need more than a reduction in stress is the ability to give myself some down time- time when I don’t have a list of all the things I have to do ticking away like a bomb in the back of my mind. It’s that brief stress free me time that I desperately need to cultivate- because if I don’t learn how to do that, no vacation will ever really be a vacation. In the end, all my talk of being stressed comes down to one very simple fact: I don’t know how to relax.
*A little story: I read the “Structured Procrastination” page before but couldn’t remember what it was called (other than something procrastination, not a useful Google term). I looked in my delicious links, no luck. I searched the websites I though I was most likely to have seen it, no luck. Where’d I find it? I went to the Wikipedia article on procrastination and there it was. PS – I find it funny that one of the most popular tags in delicious for the structured procrastination page is “toread.” PPS – If you go to the Structured Procrastination page, be sure to read the note way down at the bottom, under the copyright notice.
Yeah, my first response to the rules bit was an eye-roll as well, but having been a college instructor for a few years, I also know that it’s necessary. It’s boggling, the number of students who don’t bother to read syllabi, show up for class, turn in assignments, etc., and then complain about their grades.
Anywho, your image of the to-do list ticking like a bomb is frighteningly accurate. I keep expecting mine to do that little *ding* like the bombs in movies do, just before they explode.
I was thinking more administrative rules than teacher driven ones. I’ve never had unreasonable rules from a teacher. :)
Funny – a similar thing came up for me recently in conversation. I’ve never called it structured procrastination, though. Instead, it’s “crisis prioritization”. When confronted with a long todo list and no clear starting point – “I have sooo much to do, and no idea where to start!” – instead of just picking something from the list, I’ll go do something else, like surf and comment on someone’s blog. Eventually, like when the deadline is just a few hours away, it will become crystal clear which things need to be RIGHT NOW and which things are unimportant, and just fall off the list.
I think procrastination is a fundamental part of the grad student experience. But as you note, the successful folks learn how to manage it and don’t let it manage you. When I was in grad school I watched so many hours of Saturday Night Live reruns that I have images of Adam Sandler burnt into my mind. Its a period in my life that I both miss, and regret (for not acting on as many opportunities as I could have).
Oh by the way I couldn’t help but notice that you tagged an article about Tori Amos’ live performances. Her “Venus and Back” CD (with the second live CD) is one of my favorite live recorded performances of all time. Great, great album to listen to, especially late at night.
I’m glad I got to read this today, I’m right in the middle of breaking down over my comprehensive exam in a couple weeks as I study for that, and try to balance all of the other things I need to do.